Handcuffed
by kirame-luvsartandpoetry
Summary: L and Light are still handcuffed together, Light can't seem to stand it anymore and is unusually angry today. What's worse: Misa want's to have a sleep over with Light, L will obviously be there. What could go wrong, everything should be perfect... right?
1. Extreme

Extreme

(Light)

This is getting really annoying! L always has to reach the _extreme_ levels to do... well anything! Instead of one chocolate he prefers a chocolate cake, three cupcakes and a pie! Instead of just keeping an eye on someone (who he thinks is Kira) he hand cuffs them till their freakin' blood circulation stops!

"Why does Ryuzaki have to stick to you like glue... I wanna stick to you like that... forever" her grumpy puffy face flattened and her eyes sparkled when she announced 'forever' so emotionally... ugh...

"I already told you, he wants to investigate properly" and I want to kill both of the idiots... well L's not... actually... I want to kill the dumb ass blonde and sugar freak right in front of me!! There! I'm being a little too angry today... well considering the fact that I'm handcuffed to L and am apperantly dating Misa, I guess It's more than okay to be angry.

"Well it seemes you'll have no trouble finding love... ever infact" his wide eyes widened to their... extreme, darkened with the black circles lining his eyes widening as well... a light and merry smile scared his snow white face. Shoving a peice of cake in his mouth he glanced at Misa... who was staring at me for the past few minutes with that sparkle in her eyes. She could go on for days like this and he culd go on eating sweet things... wait he already does that... twenty-four/seven...

L is so meticulous, careful about every single detail. He's always testing people, no matter what it is. He's never really sure about what to do anymore. Misa's just... ugh you can see right through her shallow personality. She gets on my nerves and is probably the most annoying person I have ever met. Thank God she didn't ask to sleep over here in the apartment where L and I unfortunately sleep.

"Hey!" Misa shouted sounding like she just got an idea... she hardly ever gets one of those. This better not be one involving me! "I have an idea why don't I sleep over here tonight that way I wont have to worry about you or stay away from you!" she beamed.

"U-umm no!" Why me!?

"Why?!?!" Misa shouted.

"Yes Light I don't see why not..." he smiled a creepy smile, more of an evil smirk.

I glared back at him as if I was saying "bastard!"

"Yay! I'll go bring my stuff" she scurried of to her entire 'floor'. Why the hell would she want to bring stuff and what I wonder what this stuff is...

L sat a little away from me crouched with his legs curled up and his arms tightly pressing against the sides of his legs , pulling them towards his chest. His hands clutched his knees. His eyes were fixed on a dark chocolate cake placed before him. L wouldn't even blink, I guess he didn't want to miss anything... but what would he miss? It's just there and cakes don't move!!! Why am I even thinking about this! Am I going crazy?

One thing that stopped me from frowning so much was the cool wind blowing in from the window, wide open. It wasn't even a breez just a slightly strong gust of wind. The bright stars twinkled in the deep blu

Stupid cake.

"Why don't you just eat it now if you're staring at it so much?"

"Well let's see" a finger pressed his lips together as he spoke "I already ate two brownies, chocolate icecream, strawberry shortcake, a heap of chocolate truffles and drank five cups of tea, which I now think needed more sugar... so I would like to wait a little while before I can eat it." he quickly said. His voice was steady and deep, as always... sometimes he's really jumpy with his way of words; The over dose of sugar must take effect some time or another.

"Oh" sometimes I imagine him sitting like that, hugging his legs and rocking back and forth, back and forth till the person next to him goes crazy and has a nervous breakdown... oh and I wonder who that person right next to him is.... I hate you all!

"I'm back Light did you miss me?!" Misa burst the door open and shouted out screaming at the top of her lungs.

"You only left for a few minutes so-" wasn't able to finish my sentence...

"I knew you would miss me for even a few minutes that's why I came as fast as I could with all my accesories!!!"

"Huh?"

Misa held a load full of none other than makeup like a baby in her bracelet covered arms... she smiled and ran for the bathroom. The door swung open and out of curiousity I leaned over a little but stayed in place to see what she was doing. Misa crammed handfuls of lipgloss, lipstick, blusher, mascara and a hell lot of other things I didn't know of in the bathroom. I guess spending so much time with Misa has taught me the names of all these things. Sigh...

"There all done!" she clasped her hands together but suddnely yawned and suggested that we all go to sleep but she suggested something very very unexpected... "I want to sleep next to Light in the middle!"

"Why don't you just sleep over there" L pointed to the edge of the bed where if she would sleep... it would only be with me. I wanted L to suffer too... if only Misa agreed to-

"No I want to sleep in the middle but I will bravely have to sacrifice sleeping only next to Light... I don't want to fall off the bed, that's why you two are supproting me!"

That's exactly what I wanted to her to do... L should have to suffer too! I was hoping she'd say she wants to sleep next to L but that's impossible.

"You do have a point there Misa" L smiled again but this time he was trying to say he's pervert... maybe that's what I want him to say...


	2. Hanging out

_Hanging_ out

(Light)

Misa plopped down on the bed, L was right next to her. They didn't wait for me get in bed, I was still standing up, hesitating to sleep. The minute I looked back they were already fast asleep... I just wanted to sit down and sleep, maybe Misa wont be able to squeez me to dea-... What the... I sat down but something didn't feel right. I stood up... and almost wanted to cry when I saw that I had sat on L's cake! Damn you L!!! _'I would like to wait a little while before I can eat it bla bla bla!!!'_ I mocked L. Why can't he just shutup!

Oh great now I have to walk all the way to the bathroom to wash my ass along with two idiots (in their own different ways) who have been clinging to me ever since this stupid Kira incident!!!!!

"AAAHHH!!!"

"What the hell! Ewww!" I realized I had slipped and burried my _face_ in L's chocolate cake!

Hey what's this... I felt some cylinder type of thing on the floor and picked it up to feel it further. Misa's lipstick container... Misa's stupid makeup why did she have to drop it on the floor... why did my face land in the cake now???!!!! I struggled to lift my head from the smushed cake. I can't see anything! Well atleast I know where the bathroom is. I can't see that much but this'll do. Heading for the bathroom meant L and Misa were coming too.

"Ohhhhh Liiiiiiight I loooooove youuuuu..." what was that! I stopped and turned around to see Misa sleep talking. I couldn't really see that much through my cake covered eyes but it was enough to see _Misa's eyes,_ which were shut tight.

"Cho...co...late..."

The two w-were... were.... were... were... oh my.... they were... kissing each other! Poor L thought that Misa was chocolate... must be her chocolate lipgloss. She told me before wearing it for some reason... Misa obviosly thought L was me. I yanked the chain attached to the handcuffs L and I were stuck with. L slided of the bed and on to the floor. Misa kissed the pillows instead but realized that L... or actually _I _wasn't there and waved her hands around. I managed to wipe some of the chocolate off my eyes... ahh that's better.... but the sight really isn't!

"Liiiiight... were did you gooooooo" her eyes were still closed but she sat up straight, stepped off the bed and began to crawl on the floor! She walked on her knees now and swung her arms around in search of L, like a zombie. Weird...

"Theeeeeeere youuuu areeee Liiiiiiiight, I loooove youuuu tooooo" her words sounded long and dazzed into a world of love. Once again Misa was on top of L, they were both back to kissing again! I couldn't see them kissing that clearly but weird noises attested the fact... ahhh what the heck is wrong with me! bad thoughts, bad thoughts!!!

I pulled them along to the bathroom but closed the door on the chain separating Misa and L from me... for the time being.

"Now where's that soap...." The only reason I don't want to rub the cake out of my eyes even more is because it'll really get in and sting. I felt around for some kind of bottle.

"This must be it... and I hope it is..." I squeezed the queerly marshy soap out of its container and rubbed it all over my face... it smelled strange, like sweet watermelon... again I felt around for a towel. I wet the corner of the towel and carefully removed some cake from my face and lightly dabbed the wet towel around my eyes... I was astonished at what I saw in the mirror... my face covered with not only cake but... Misa's other lipgloss!!!!!

"Damn you Misa and your bloody makeup!"

"Wait... ah! My eyes! Crap! Fuck! Shit! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!! There's freaking cake and lipgloss in my eyes!!!"

(Author)

Poor light has no time to tell you what he's going through so I have too.

As light runs around in circles, his eyes burn because of the mixture of L's chocolate cake and Misa's chocolate flavored lipgloss. His arms waving upand down like a bird and yelled "AHHHHHHHHHH" while doing so. Light careened throught the room, back and forth. He couldn't expand the circle that he was continuously running in; Misa and L were the only _happy couple_ holding him back but Light forced himself to run farther and faster, pulling them. Little did he know that running farther and faster would not do him any good and would obviously not get him out of this Kira situation, if that's what he was thinking...

(Light)

"OW!!! How do I get this crap out!!!! Misa!!! L!!!!! HELP!!! Where am I running to!!!!"

(Author)

Light swivered around and didn't know.... that he was heading for the window... wide open. He hit the window and fell straight through it!

"WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cold wind brushed against my skin. I think I probably fell through the window!!!!

(Author)

Light dangled from the window still attached to the chain. Back up in the room Misa and L were having the time of their lives according to them.

"Let'ssss get maaaarriieeeeeed! heeeeee heeeee" Misa sleep said and kissed L.

"This tastes gooooood I wooonderr. If Liiiight is Kiiiiira then that meeans that I'm an idiiiiiot! hehe! I liiiiiiike this gaaaaame! heee heee heeeeeee" L said and smiled a smile so large that the corners of his smile looked like they touched his eyes shut tight.

(Light)

"Misa and Light are the only ones holding me up! What if they let go!!! Then were all going down!!! I can't climb the chain or I'll pull it too hard, Misa and L wil come crashing down on me!!! What do I do! WHAT DO I DO!!!

"HELP! GET ME UP FROM HERE! RYUZAKI! MISA! HELLO!!!!! HELP MEEEEEE!"

Hey wait a stinkin' minute! I still have Misa's lipgloss and L really seems to like it! I guess this is the only thing that can save me!!"

(Author)

Light had chosen a very wise strategy. Learn to make use of your surroundings or take the advantages out of the disadvatanged things! The way I put things is that good things are bad for you and bad things are good for you. Here Lipgloss is bad for Light but it's also good because if he rubs it all over his body, which is excalty what he's doing now, it could save his life, sure it sounds way beyond impossible but Light was in such a situation that he would try ANYTHING to save his own life.

(Light)

This is insane. I feel all weird and girly! I even made sure that the chain was smeared with lipgloss. My plan sounds simple but it's not so simple to make it happen.

(L)

"Ahhhhh now thiiiiis is the beeest timeeeee offf my liiiife. Just meeee and chocolate liiiiiiiquid heheheehhehehahahahahheheheeh. Waaaaaite a minuteeeee whaaaaat's thattt loveeeelyyy smellll! mmmmmmmm chocolate! Hehehehehheheheheeeeee!"

(Author)

L dropped Misa and headed for the window. He drowsily dragged his feet towards the smell and giggled like a school girl crushing on a hot, elder guy. He felt his way around and grabbed what he thought carried the smell, the chain. Not only is he an intellect but he is also an expert in smelling stuff, I guess. L pulled the chain as fast as he could with eagerness bursting out of him.

"Must haveee niceeeeee smellll heheheeh! I loooooove niiiiiceee smmellll! heheeheheheheeeee!"

(Light)

I felt a jurk and before I knew it I was being lifted up!

"Thank God!!!! I'm saved!!! Who's pulling me up?" if it's L the he'd probably try to smel me like a crazy dog. If it's Misa then she'd probably try to kiss me...

(Author)

L's nostrills were inflated to their maximum. L pulled up his chocolate covered Kira and each time he did Light was being lifted a foot.


	3. Light's Lupe Fist Mode

Light's Lupe Fist Mode...

(Light)

Damn it! I still can't see anything so I don't know who's pulling me up but I dont think anything out of the ordinary would happen to me... right?

(Author)

L finally grabbed Light's hands and pulled him up to his chest half way through the window.

"Smmmmelll allll mineeee heheheheee!" that sounds like a very very happy L... oh no...

OH MY GOD is that... L?!?!?!?!?! I felt around the head of the one who was tightly hugging me. This person didn't have long hair. Oh my God..... this isn't Misa is it... I feel weird again! If I try to move at all I'll fall right back out again and die!!! I guess I'll just have to... let whatever's going ot happen... HAPPEN!

(Author)

"Myyyyy smelllll I looooove smmmmelllll! heheh" L leaned closer to poor Light. L hugged Light with all his heart and began to do the very same thing he did to Misa when he thought she was his lovely chocolate. Yes that's right.... he kissed Light... many times. It's sad that Light cannot escape from L's clutches because he'd fall and die. L's lovely smell widened his eyes and almost cried because of the torture he was going through... and the joy L was apperantly going through! Soon enough L pulled Light all the way in and continued to do what he felt was neccessary. They both plopped down on the bed. L's grip was too tight for Light to escape from. Misa was still moving a little on tje floor asking herself where light was and repeating that she wanted to kiss him. Misa didn't know that Light was a little buisy at the moment...

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(L)

"Yawn... I had a good sleep. I feel great...Mmm it smells pretty nice in here, like chocolate. Good Morning Misa"

"Whatever..." she nastily replied. I suppose she still hates me for the handcuffs I attached to Light.

Well time to have some tea, with more sugar... hmm Light doesn't seem to be around. That's not really possible because were still handcuffed together. He shouldn't be far... if I just look around here and there I could find him so it's no use asking Misa. She'd just reply rudely or say something my ears are not willing to hear. I followed the chain and crawled over to the other side of the bed.

"Light what are you doing and why are you on the floor with cake on your face and a strange pink liquid that seems to be lipgloss or whatever they call it?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!! HEHEHEHE"

"Why are you gigling like a school girl crushing on a hot elder man?"

"OH I WASN'T!! YOU'RE THE ONE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WAS STUPIDIODICALLY LAUGHING LIKE ME! HEHEHEHEEHEHHEEE!!! I DON'T LIKE YOU!"

"I don't think 'stupidiodically' is a word Light"

The sight of Light rolling around with his legs and body curled up reminded me of someone.

"Are you mocking me?"

"HEHEHEHEH NO!!! I'M MOCKING YOU!!!"

"Hmmm I'm afraid that doesn't really make sence"

Light doesn't usually act this way in fact he's never done this before as far as I know. His eyes seem wide enough to pop out and his pupils were more to the middle of his eyes. His toungue sticking out... funny.

What's that... Light was holding a white bottle tightly in his hands.... I guess he found my Sake. Oh well, I was saving it for special occassions like for when I would capture Kira but it looks like the apparent Kira himself is enjoying... or going crazy.

"Light you have to give me that back"

"NO WAYZ! I LIKE SAKE! YOU TORTURE ME YESTERDAY NIGHT! EWW!!! YOU'RE DISGUSTING!!!"

"I tortured you yesterday?" I turned my head towards the celling and pressed my lip with my thumb. "I dont really think I torured you today but there is something strange about this smell... I like it though"

"YOU LIKE MISA AND ME! EHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHHHEHEH!"

"What do you mean?"

"Hehehehhehhehehehehe..."

Light seemed to calm down now. His eyes weren't wide open anymore but were slightly squinted... he smirked so sinisterly... glaring at me, focusing on me...

"I'm going to kill you... heheehehhe" his laugh deepened and sounded threatening.

"I don't really understand. See if you were to kill me then you would obviously be labled firmly as Kira and you would be in prison for the rest of your life. You are high on Sake so you're stupididty, not 'stupidiodically', is very conspicuous right now"

(Author)

"Who are you blabbing on about with?" Misa sneared . She was already so over worked since this morning, painting her nails a pretty scarlet red while laying down on the bed, kicking her legs in the air . She had no Idea what happened last night and didn't really bother to look for her precious Light-kun, hell she forgot about him the second she saw her bottle of nailpolish; she wanted her nails to dry first.

(L)

Ignoring Misa's question, I backed away from Light a little. He brandished his bottle of Sake like a weapon at my face.

"This is exacitically where you are gowing to dye! I will defiantly kill you at any price"

(Author)

What Light meant was: "This is exactly where you are going to die! I will definatly kill you at any cost!" L probably figured it out the minute he heard what Light was trying to say.

He was too high to do or say anything right. L took responibility of Light's weird behavior and decided to do somehting he loved doing to Light, especially when he was furious but stoic at the same time... L decided to punch Light right in his face. A redish bruise formed on Lights face as he sniffled and cried.

(L)

This was inexpected... Light sat on the floor and cried as the red bruise I gave him turned a kind of purple.

"I'm sorry but I had to do that in order for you to calm down"

Light's beady eyes looked into mine... he was clearly very upset and hurt about what just happened.

"You are bean..."

I slid down form the bed and sat down next to him

"You were probably trying to say 'mean'. Sorry again..."

He wiped his eyes with his sleeves.

(Author)

As light wiped his tear stained face he peaked through a sleeve and looked up at L. He waited... to surprise him...

"HAH! YOU TOTALLY FELT FOR IT DUMMY! LUPE FIST MODE! HEHEHE!!!"


	4. Bunnies?

Bunnies?

(Authoress)

Light kicked L's face! L went flying over to the other side of the room. Misa was too buisy to notice that L flew past her and crashed into the wall.

"Argh!... I.. don't think I'm the dummy here!" how can he control his strength and manage to aim directly at me face. He just drank an entire bottle of Sake... L thought. L forcefully lifted himself up and didn't heditate to punch Light in the stomach!

"OUCHIES! YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY!!" Light darted to L and swung his fist at him. L doged his heavy punch, bent down and kicked his foot. Light fell to the floor but incredulously yet zombieishly stood up and planted a firm punch in L's stomach!!! L flew back towards the wall, Light was obviously pulled along with L... and yes... the window was still open...

"Ba Ba Black sheep have you any love, Yes sir yes sir three hearts full! None for Ryuzaki, none for matsuda, all for my Light-o-kun who lives in my heart!"

"Misa-kun! Help us up! Misa we're hanging down from the window!" L yelled.

Misa was concentrating on how she looked, painting her nails and singign Ba Ba Black Sheep... She did not hear L's cry for help and Lights continuous crazy talk...

"GET AWAY FROM MEEEE! I'M NOT KIRA! HEHEHEHEH!" "I WILL KILL YOU MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"And you expect me to believe that you are not Kira when you're true aim right now is to kill me... fascinating..." how is he able to keep telling me that he isn't Kira while he's drunk? L thought as he swung about from the chain which was only hanging on the handle used to open the window. Light pushed and shoved L. L remained calm and wondered how they would ever get back up...

(L)

Misa will realize soon enough. She does love Light so she would obviously come looking for him... right?

(Author)

Yep I wonder too L but I am the one who wrote this story so you really don't know what's going to happen next... and what's going to happen next... is...

(L)

Thunder roared among the silver clouds and rain poured down from the dark night sky. Drops of rain water plopped on my head...

"I dont think this will be a very comfurtable night, especially with you..." I looked down at Light who clinged to me...

"I'm sacred of heights!!! Ohhhhh Did I ever tell you that!!!???"

"No Light you never did... until now and do you mind letting go of me? I thought you hated me"

"Nope Ryuzaki nice" he smiled and patted my head...

"Would Ryuzaki like some drink?"

"Oh what the heck it's not like anyone can see me up here!! So why not!" I grabbed the bottle from Light and drank the entire thing! Well there was only a little left so I guess I wont go that crazy, if I do then I would number one: start thinking and talking too much which is just what I'm doing right now, number two: kill us both by wriggling around and shalking the chain so I shouldn't do that or like I said before we would both die and then Near or Mello would have to take my place as the new L and then I wont be alive anymore which would make me dead and Light would die too then Misa would say "Oh Light! How could you die like this! How could you leave me", jump after Light, land on top of us and die too...

"I like bunnies!"

"Yay! Now we friends!!"

"Shnoo shla shluppy shluppy! Shluppy shluppy shnoo!" I sang!

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(Misa)

"Hmm I wonder where Light and Ryuzaki are?"

"Oh well they'll come back. After all they can't really stay away from beatiful, gorgeous me for a long time!"

"Do you beleeeeeiiive in life after looooove! I can feeeel somethiiing inside me saaay I really don't think you're strong enough nooooo... Do you belieeeev in life after loveee!!! I can feeel somthiiiing insideee me sayyy...."

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